Illness Isn’t Laziness: Rewiring Internalized Ableism, One Day at a Time

If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting—or worse, ashamed for needing to—this one’s for you. We live in a culture that celebrates pushing through, showing up, grinding harder. But for those living with chronic illness, disability, or invisible conditions, that mindset isn’t just unhelpful—it’s harmful.

Internalized ableism is what happens when we start measuring our worth by how “productive” we are, even when our bodies are asking us to slow down. It’s sneaky. It’s pervasive. And unlearning it takes work.

But that work? It’s worth doing.

What Is Internalized Ableism?

Ableism is the belief—conscious or unconscious—that some bodies are more valuable than others. When society constantly rewards speed, stamina, and appearance of wellness, people who move through the world differently get left behind.

Internalized ableism happens when you begin to absorb those messages and turn them inward:

• “I should be doing more.”

• “I’m just making excuses.”

• “Everyone else seems to handle life—what’s wrong with me?”

This self-talk doesn’t come from laziness. It comes from survival. From being conditioned to believe that rest is failure, that accommodations are burdensome, that our limitations are moral flaws.

Why Rewiring This Matters

When you internalize ableism, you don’t just judge yourself—you push yourself in ways that lead to harm:

• You ignore early warning signs and flare signals

• You sacrifice long-term wellness for short-term “performance”

• You feel guilt when you honor your actual needs

Rewiring this mindset helps you:

• Set boundaries without shame

• Make decisions that support healing instead of burnout

• Build a self-concept rooted in wholeness, not hustle

It’s not about giving up. It’s about stopping the war against your own body.

5 Signs You Might Be Internalizing Ableism

1. You only let yourself rest if you “earned it.”

   • (Spoiler: You don’t need to earn rest.)

2. You minimize your symptoms when talking to others.

   • “It’s not that bad” becomes a reflex—even when it is that bad.

3. You feel like a failure when you cancel plans.

   • Even if it was the healthiest choice you could’ve made.

4. You compare your current capacity to your past self.

   • And treat your former self as the gold standard.

5. You judge others for needing accommodations—then feel bad about it.

   • It’s a mirror. And it’s painful to look at.

Recognizing these thoughts isn’t about blame. It’s about building awareness.

How to Start Rewiring the Narrative

Reclaiming your self-worth starts with small shifts:

• Practice non-performative rest. Rest without doing anything “useful” alongside it. No guilt multitasking.

• Speak about your needs plainly. You don’t need to qualify your pain or prove it.

• Unfollow grind culture. Literally. Curate your feed. Make space for gentler voices.

• Track what your body does manage—not just what it doesn’t. Acknowledge the wins, even if they look small.

• Surround yourself with people who don’t need you to “bounce back.” Your worth isn’t tied to recovery speed.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Lazy. You’re Living in a System That Doesn’t See You.

It’s hard to believe your needs matter when the world keeps telling you to push harder. But every time you choose rest over shame, honesty over masking, and slowness over self-erasure—you’re doing the brave work of rewriting that story.

You are not lazy. You are not failing. You are not broken.

You are learning how to live in a way that honors your actual body. And that is powerful.

Looking for tools to help track symptoms, communicate with doctors, or pace your energy? Check out our Ko-Fi store for chronic illness tools designed with you in mind.
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